CJ60 #75: I Crippled My Kids For Disneyworld

onder Woman by Joss Whedon pages 1-16: Tony's seriously considering renting out his family to creepy old guys who visit Disney theme parks while Ace comes up with killer a new pitch for a TV show called Racist Grandpa - the main character will be played by Sir Sean Connery or Mr Shaun Connelly, whichever one's cheapest and available. Matt is convinced that Ace is a cartoon character living in a cartoon world and Seth still hasn't got over the death of Uncle Mike. There's no fan fiction this week because we decide to read an unmade movie script and we quickly discover why it's unmade - what the fuck where you thinking Joss???

CJ60 #74: Never Scrape Your Tongue

Sonic & Gumball: Back In Time chapter 1 & 2 / Sonic & Gumball: A Nightmare on Elmore Street: This episode is definitely a case of déjà vu as the guys believe they've already recorded episode 74 last week, or was that just a strange dream? Anyhow, the guys chat about Mexican gardener noise terrorists, Gene Simmons being the absolute worst, used tampons, the horror of childbirth and how they generally hate women. On the plus side, there's no talk at all about the remake of Ghostbusters. Then it's onto not one but two pieces of god-awful fan fiction which is going to make Uncle Mike turn in his grave whoever Uncle Mike is because he was first referenced on last weeks podcast that was never recorded as it was just a dream - this is beginning to be like that movie Inception but more enjoyable and much more understandable.

CJ60 #73: Tickle Me Anti-Semitic Elmo

Sonic & Gumball: Cowboys chapter 1 & 2: The guys ponder what they'd wish for if, like Elmo in Elmo Saves Christmas, they had 3 wishes. Matt wants to time travel while Ace is just happy looking at black people on Google Image search. There's also talk of Seth's quiet birthday celebrations, Penn & Teller coming to Manchester, Alice Cooper's new song and Matt going to see Piff the Magic Dragon later in the year although there's still plenty of time for Piff to cancel. Then there's some new fanfiction and oh, what a beautiful, violent and completely pointless beast it is.

CJ60 #72: Hitler Didn't Like Pineapple

Inferno: Experiment 666 chapter 10: Tony tries to convince us that size doesn't matter and Ace admits to being a coconut nut. Matt doesn't like the heat and Seth is very, very quiet, so quiet in fact that it's like he's not even here. The fanfiction starts but it quickly ends when the guys realise that it's just terrible and they should really be talking about more interesting things like pot turning Kevin Smith into a total retard and the audible.com version of Mein Kampf read by Mel Brooks.

CJ60 #71: Capes 'R' Us!

Born of Darkness chapter 6 & 7: the entire world might be falling apart but the guys battle on bravely and address some pressing issues like where did Lando Calrissian get that snazzy cape from, why does Hollywood insist of CGI grave robbing and shouldn't Rocket Racoon be bisexual just for Seth? Then it's onto a chapter and a half of a fanfiction that should have died a long time ago - it gets so bad at one point that they start reading 2 different stories at the same time which seems to make things a lot more coherent.

CJ60 #70: Get the Butter

Inferno: Experiment 666: Tony doesn't appreciate Seth anymore, that's why he's not here this week. The remaining 3 buddies get obsessed about racoon dick in the hope that Rocket Racoon is hung like a...well, a well hung racoon. Then there's the fanfiction and random piano playing by Ace. A racoon walks into a bar and pulls out a 12 inch pianist.

CJ60 #69: Sixty-Nine, Dudes!!!

Born of Darkness chapter 5: This week the guys talk about how the Easter Bunny and Santa take all the glory, MST3K is just enforced comedy commentary, god having a plan to get rid of all the gays, men's nipples, Beaker from The Muppets is a foul racist, a possible Ghostbusters re-remake and the comedy classic subject of modern day gender issues. Then it's fan fiction time which the chaps soon come to realise is the most horrible thing they've ever read so decide to drive it out into the middle of nowhere and leave it for dead before the next episode.

CJ60 #67: Extreme Wangs

Inferno: Experiment 666 chapter 3: In this episode we discover that Ace and Tony are way gayer than Seth. We also witness this weeks fan fiction installment well and truly break Ace. There's talk of Game of Thrones toys, Melissa McCarthy as Robocop, Frank Sidebottom, Stranger Than Fiction, Everything Must Go, Phantasm, Ghostbusters porn parodies, misshapen penises, coffee flavoured ice cream and pumpkin beer.

CJ60 #66: Big Balls is a Love Ballad

Seth's not here this week and there's no fan fiction but there is lots of talk about US and UK food and drink for some reason. Ace, Matt and Tony also natter about Rick & Morty, McDonalds Szechuan sauce, I Hate Fairyland, Invader Zim, The Mask, how many love songs are just dads singing about their daughters, Freddie Mercury was omni-sexual, Alice Cooper's Elton John album, awful metal ballads, Kickstarter funding Alex Winter to do coke and listen to Frank Zappa, Bill & Ted 3, Wayne's World 3, easter eggs, Kevin Smith and Vincent Price. Wow, these guys can talk some serious shit!!

CJ60 #65: That's What She Said!

Born Of Darkness chapter 4: There's talk of the Power Rangers movie and TV show, Seth's sister proving god really does exist, a cure for being attracted to big boobs, Weekend At Bernie's starring Queen Elizabeth II and whether or not we could come to like the Ghostbusters remake if we lived to be 500. Then, because Matt's back, we head back into some awfully drawn out Teen Titans fan fiction.

CJ60 #64: Jessica Rabbit's Cartoon Brothel

Inferno: Experiment 666 chapter 1 & 2: Matt's gone AWOL so the guys bravely carry on without him but the fan fiction just isn't the same without his "dun dunnnnn" sound effects. But before all this, the cheeky chappies talk about the "Paul leaving Geek Shock" shock, Inception and Arrival being rather rubbish movies, the new It shaping up to be crap, pantomimer Andy Serkis, Broad City, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, 24 Legacy and Roger Rabbit 2 with Jessica Rabbit played by a fat, hairy, sweaty guy - calm down Seth!

CJ60 #63: Good Ol' Boy Loving Attitude

Born Of Darkness chapter 3: We talk about Tony's racist blunder at the Liverpool Comic Con, Captain EO, detached retinas, Zelda Breath of the Wild, South Park, Peppa Pig, daylight saving and Ace's hatred for all things gay. We then get onto another chapter of our way-too-descriptive fan fiction. Let's hope there's nothing gay in there to set Ace off again.

CJ60 #62: Dressing Up For Children and Old People

Born Of Darkness chapter 1 & 2: Tony returns after his bout of man flu only to discover that his cousin has been making porn movies with Ace, Seth and Matt. The gang discuss Logan, the Deadpool 2 trailer, dressing up, Sigourney Weaver and Spawn directed by Seth MacFarlane before launching into their new Teen Titans fan fiction which turns out to be totally up itself. We're going to blame Seth for this one...our Seth not Seth Obsidian.

CJ60 #61: Keeping It In The Family

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 6: With Tony off (allegedly) battling a terrible case of man flu, Ace, Seth and Matt soldier on without him and discuss movies that are better than books, more D&D stuff and finish off the disturbingly, incestual "Can I Love My Sister" fan fiction.

CJ60 #60: Losing Your D&D Virginity

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 5: The guys ponder the fact that kids movies and TV shows are way better than ones for us grown ups while Seth is excited to lose his D&D virginity and tells us all about his character. There's also talk of man flu, Mega Bloks now being called Mega Constructs according to Paul Mattingly, Eric still being the best and the abortion that is the new Ghostbusters movie - god, we do hate women. Then it's onto the "fucking gay" (Ace's words) fan fiction where things get steamy...kind of. Matt needs to leave early so Ace, Seth and Tony get their 'Talking Twincest' on. This episode is brought to you by AudibleEdible.com, NostalgiaBox.com and SquawkSpace.com - use the code 'coffeejellyhour' to get free shit.

CJ60 #59: Happy Saint Valentine's Day Massacre

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 3 & 4: The guys talk about their perfect Valentine's Day. They also chat about the delayed Marilyn Manson album, GTA V and the Star Trek: Discovery outrage. Ace is so psyched about our brand new sponsors that there's a big possibility that they will no longer be our sponsors next week. And then it's onto another reading from our creepy fan fiction where nothing really happens but it somehow manages to be even more awkward than last episode's reading.

CJ60 #58: Mary Tyler Less Alive

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 2 (again): Charles Manson might be dead, Mary Tyler Moore is definitely dead but the #CJ60 Betty White Watch 2017 is still going strong. In between making sure Betty is still in the land of the living, the guys talk about Ace's new L shaped desk, Trump Pence bumper stickers in the UK, JonTron the Nazi, Detroit Rock City and Ron Jeremy in Frozen 2. Then there's the Gravity Falls twincest fan fiction...chapter 2...again...because the #CJ60 dickheads have forgotten where they're up to in the story.

CJ60 #57: Vile, Vulgar Political Idiocracy

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 2: Tony can't believe that the current state of America isn't just a live action episode of Black Mirror while Ace and Matt have a lot to say about the vile, vulgar Trumpmeister. Oh, TRIGGER WARNING...shit, too late!! The guys quickly drag themselves out of this political idiocracy and get into some fun, pinecest / twincest / incest Gravity Falls fan fiction. Er, TRIGGER WARNING...bollocks!!

CJ60 #56: It Tastes Just Like Warm Milk

Can I Love My Sister? chapter 1: Tony tries to defend random British cuisine while Ace comes up with a spin-off podcast called V for Viennetta. Seth Successfully avoids mentioning Trump's piss crimes while Matt complains that the rabbit's box is starting to smell which he assures us is not a euphemism. Then there's the very awkward new Gravity Falls twincest fan fiction - yes, we need help. SALT PORK...I am not a motherfucking kid!!!!