Nic Gauge

NIC GAUGE / The Wicker Man

MOVIE: The Wicker Man

STARRING: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Leelee Sobieski, Molly Parker, Frances Conroy

RELEASE DATE: September 1st, 2006

WHERE TO WATCH: VOD (Amazon Prime, Vudu, Apple TV)

By Justin Pomerville (2 Broke Geeks)

Sister Rose / Sister Thorn (Molly Parker) and Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) in The Wicker Man.

From what I see from this list of films, Nic Cage really had not done many horror films until later in his career. There are probably some early films that I just have yet to see, but just from what I have so far, older Cage means more diversity within the genres. Back in 2006, Cage did star in arguably one of the most memed/gifed horror films; a remake of the 1973 cult classic The Wicker Man. Seriously, I’ll get into the specific piece that has been mocked, but if you are a fan of Cage and this film, you know exactly which scene I’m talking about.

After being forced to take time off from a car accident involving a young girl, police officer Edward Malus (played by Cage) gets a letter from his ex-fiancé, Willow Woodward’s (played by Kate Beahan) daughter is missing on a secluded island and has asked for his help in finding her. Upon arrival, Malus starts to realize that there is more going on than just a missing girl. He discovers hardly any men, an insane love for harvest festivals, and dead bodies. It’s not till we get to the third act that we learn he was tricked to come to the island. He is to be a human sacrifice to ensure a bountiful harvest.

Dr. T.H. Moss (Frances Conroy) and the island’s residents in The Wicker Man.

It’s not a very good film. In the first ten minutes, Cage fails to save a small girl and her mom from a burning car that ends up exploding and killing them. That scene keeps being brought back up throughout the film since he is now attempting to save a different girl. He is plagued with nightmares that replay in his head, so you understand his determination to find her. However, later in the film, you find out the missing girl is actually his daughter. He thoughts still goes back to the dead girl in the car though. It all feels very backward in terms of motivation.

The film also feels to be more of a comedy because of how Cage plays up some of the scenes. He gets into a fight with one woman and kicks her so hard, she flies across the room. It was as if she was hit by someone with super strength. Cage’s weird romance with his ex-wife is just awkward and off-putting. But the biggest thing is the “Not The Bees!” scene. Cage is captured and has a cage put on his head with CGI bees flying in to cover his face while he screams. It’s terrible. Just insanely bad visual effects that will make you laugh.

Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) in The Wicker Man.

I do give this movie more crap than praise. However, it still is much better than some of the other films in his catalog. So, with that, this film is going to sit in the lower end of “Terrible” on the Nic Gauge.